First There was Puberty…Now greys?!?!

In the back of my mind I always knew this day would come.  I knew that it would be a gradual, slow process…and I always figured that I had plenty of time to figure out a game plan on how I would deal with “that day” when it arrived.  I mean…I am still so young…I’m only 35; I still have time…right?  COME ON…I still feel like I’m in my 20’s.  Sure my ability to pull all nighters is a thing of the past, and sure my idea of partying is sitting on my couch after the kids go to bed, a glass of wine in one hand, petting the cat with the other, as I watch the latest DVR’d episode of New Girl…but I’m still young at heart!  I still giggle and snort when the server at Taco Bell asks if I want a hard or soft taco, and I can’t help but crack up when I answer “We’ll take 3 hard and the rest of them soft please!”  Who does that…an immature person, that’s who, NO mature adult would ever laugh at that, right?  And when a co-worker recently told me that she lives and loves it in Intercourse, Pennsylvania (it’s a town…funny right?), I nearly peed myself from laughing so hard!  Again…no mature middle age adult would find something like that funny, am I right???  And let’s not forget that I’m the mother of a 2 year old…I still get a monthly period…and I’m not yet retired.  So why the hell am I finding so many grey hairs on my head…WHY??????

 

My crisis started last weekend.  I had just finished washing my hands after going potty (notice, mature adults DON’T use the word potty…EVER!), when I turned to dry my hands something shiny coming from the mirror caught my eye.  At first I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, so I turned my head again…there it was again!  So I looked closer, and closer, and even closer…and what to my wondering eyes would appear…it was a shiny grey hair, a very long, curly, shiny grey hair!  I was shocked, mortified to be exact.  Whose grey hair is that???  It couldn’t be mine.  I don’t have grey hair!  I carefully followed that strand of hair all the way up to my scalp.  I took a brief pause, (no way, this thing is attached to my head), took a deep breath then gave a gentle tug…”Ouch!”  Oh my fricken god, that sucker WAS MINE!!!  I became frantic…I pulled off my hair tie and started a frantic search for more, hoping the there were no more, but considering the length of that last one…something told me there would be.  I was right…there were more.  I found 6 just that morning.  By the next day 2 more were found.  By that evening I handed “Daddy” a comb, laid on his lap and made him search!  According to him it was all in my head (duh!)….”I’m telling you, I don’t see any,” he said.  Yeah right!  Like he would tell me if he had!!!  I could have a head full of grey and he would never say a THING!  Ugh…you useless…SMART man!!!

 

So here is where I am now.  Emotionally and psychologically I’m so confused!  How did this happen?  When did I go from the young, fun-loving 20 something “feeling” year old, to now this older mature woman with greys in her head.  I demand that mother nature, or whomever it was that decided that I was at this “Next Phase” of my life re-consider this whole thing!  I demand a do-over, a recount, I want to file an appeal because guess what…I DO NOT FEEL MIDDLE AGE!!! So there, take that life!  Now What!!!  Aaah, yeah…now what???

 

If there is such a thing as virgin hair, mine would be it.  I have very long curly hair that hasn’t been chemically treated since I was in my very early twenties.  Because it is curly, I don’t really trust anyone doing anything to it, most especially playing around with chemicals.  My curly hair is just like me…soft, sensitive, a little crazy and frizzy at times, yet obedient and compliant when it needs to be.  It does all this without the need of chemicals or crazy hair products.  All it needs is a little moisturizer in all the right places and, wallah!  I’ve got beautiful, shiny, dark curly hair.  Now that I’m faced with this curse that I’m convinced my teenagers have put on me (I have to blame someone), it looks like I’m going to have to turn to chemical hair dyes to keep the grey at bay!  I never thought I’d be this woman.  I always pictured myself accepting this change and taking it in stride as a rite of passage of sorts.  However, I never thought that this would happen in my 30’s…no sure why as so many of my friends, some younger, some not much older, already take steps to get rid of the grey every couple of weeks.  So why is it that it caught me so incredibly off guard? It’s crazy, right?

 

So anyways my dilemma now is how do I take that next step and lose my hair virginity, without completely damaging my beautiful locks.  Obviously I know I’m going to have to go to a professional hairdresser, but what do I ask for, what do I look for, and what do I stay away from?  My hair is curly and dry by nature, so chemically treating it will only make the dryness worse.  How do I put the moisture back in?  What products do I need to buy, what treatments will I need to do now?  So many questions…I feel like a kid trying to get my hands on all the answers!  You see…yet another reason I feel like I’m not ready for this.  Shouldn’t I already know all this stuff…I’m in my mid 30’s you know?  I just feel like I should already know what to do.  I just picture mother nature sitting on her couch somewhere, watching my confusion from a distance as she snorts and laughs and (hopefully) pees herself a little…because “boy did she really get me this time!”

 

So here is my question to all you fellow mama’s, who have already crossed the grey hair threshold and have de-virginized their heads, what do I look for?  As a first timer, what questions should I be asking, what type of “dyeing” should I be asking for?  PLEASE HELP EDUCATE ME PEOPLE!!!  God knows I need all the help I can get!!!

2 Responses to First There was Puberty…Now greys?!?!

  1. Lmao! I’m no help with the dye, thankfully not gray yet, but here’s a heads up it gets worse! A couple grays just the beginning. Get ready for hot flashes, being tired, and just a weird almost lost feeling! Kids growing, just ages you more! Not fun at all

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